My "Proverbs"


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These are my "proverbs". They're not all necessarily clever. Some are. Some are funny. They're actually just my spelling and vocabulary words used in sentences. Most are from 9th grade. (1996)

  1. Eat the bird fast before it gets away. (2nd grade)
  2. Buy the fur hat! (2nd grade)
  3. The lazy giant ate frozen food. (4th grade)
  4. As he stared back in the rear-view mirror at his adversary, he knew it was not over.
  5. Although she was addicted to heroin, she was never famous. (rock stars)
  6. The busy workers ignored the little girl.
  7. She went to the store to buy burritos.
  8. The agitation of your father will not increase your chances of going to the movies.
  9. She looked so animated that it was hard to believe she was dead. (Snow White)
  10. The bus came early, but I didn't care.
  11. It is easy to eat all your vegetables.
  12. He marked this paper with an asterisk so his secretary would know it was the one.
  13. If he was going to understand, he knew he would need to assess the situation and act on his thoughts.
  14. I meant to eat this week, but I just forgot. (my week without food)
  15. I often sit and do nothing. (true statement)
  16. Even though the pig was buoyant, the bricks tied to it pulled it under. (I have heard that pigs float)
  17. Since she was bilingual, she could tell what the Mexicans were saying about her.
  18. The bizarre animal got in a golf cart and took a little drive.
  19. She said, "Forget the fact that I don't look like you." (Everclear)
  20. Someone who did not like his shoes took them off and left them in front of the school. (really only one shoe, remember?)
  21. Sugar is on the health pyramid, but it's not really that healthy. (it is, look for yourself)
  22. Even though my grandma agreed to pay me ten bucks to shave, I would have anyhow. (true statement)
  23. Although the little boy was carnivorous, he enjoyed his green vegetables.
  24. A lot of people have no idea what to wear to a funeral.
  25. I can't tell which it is, but I'll take them both.
  26. The women in the elevator liked macaroni and cheese. (my mom hated mac 'n' cheese while she was pregnant)
  27. Does anyone in this entire country know what antidisestablishmentarianism means? (I was supposed to use the word "write" in this sentence, but the teacher didn't notice that I forgot to include it)
  28. He was known as a contemptable man as he walked down the long hallway to his fate.
  29. I absolutely will not give you my taco for a quarter.
  30. After giving his acceptance speech, the president was booed, beat up, and shot.
  31. I would like to accomplish something, but I can't think of anything good.
  32. We had to take him off the cross when he presented his credentials. (Jesus Christ)
  33. You shall not defile her with your words of insult and corruption.
  34. Since they thought my writing was deficient, they gave me a two. (95/96 Proficiency Test)
  35. They used an asterisk to denote non-members in the church directory. (true statement)
  36. I couldn't understand why they were not affectionate when I came to claim my 25 dollars.
  37. The agriculture in my backyard has not thrived since all the concrete work. (true statement)
  38. The ambassador from a foreign country went to Taco Bell and was amazed by the Double Decker Taco.
  39. To make a reliable reading, you must analyze the hand carefully. (palm reading)
  40. When he saw me denounce him, he came after my expensive paper airplanes.
  41. Although they were very discreet during the trial, one of them accidentally blurted out incriminating information.
  42. Although she possessed great dexterity, she still fell off that four inch balance beam. (Dominique Moceanu)
  43. We found it apparent that there was a bomb in the dog toy when the house blew up.
  44. To escape from it, you must turn around and face it, for it finds joy in chase but is frightened by you.
  45. During the argument, I made pancakes, but we were out of syrup.
  46. Her assurance gave me the confidence to try them for the first time.
  47. Even though the man in the uniform had authority, I egged his car, and Dick broke the windows. (a friend's mom saw me and Gary at Taco Bell during school hours the day we skipped school in 7th grade, we told her a story about how we got suspended from school)
  48. When she got out the candle and the tin man, everyone believed she was being too drastic.
  49. In the beginning, the world was a boring place. (Genesis)
  50. The only benefit was the ability to burn the instruction manual. (The Day I Received My Electric Shoes)
  51. When the campaign was over, they gathered twelve baskets of buttons. (Bible parody)
  52. After the 259th encore, the performer blew up the auditorium with an atomic bomb. (Galloway)
  53. The blister on my hand inspired me to write an epic.
  54. The equation took up a whole page, but the answer was zero.
  55. When the emissary was captured, he took his own life.
  56. Although it was in that category, it was very unique.
  57. You always try to sell this certificate so you can buy that train.
  58. Everything in the room was motionless and without characteristic.
  59. The chief of the operation was bald and had a little hamster.
  60. The important news was in the last column.
  61. If you cannot find your cubby, you'll never be commissioner. (Miss Orlett once said that not being able to find an assigned cubby indicated a serious problem)
  62. My exploit resulted in eternal peace of mind.
  63. A new car is conceivable mentally but not financially.
  64. Until his conscience started started to bother him, he was beating that boyscout to death.
  65. When I am not conscious, I have peace of mind.
  66. I rose up and left the place, regretfully.
  67. She raised her hand because she knew the answer.
  68. I sat by the window, watching, waiting, and listening.
  69. We all frown at your frivolous ways, and so will you, one of these days.
  70. The tennis racquet was functional but not for tennis. (I played tennis with Carl's dad's old wooden tennis racquet and broke it by hitting a tennis ball)
  71. If someone were to touch the U.S. Constitution, it would crumble to bits. (Okay, so maybe that's the Declaration of Independence. The word I had to use was constitution, what can you do?)
  72. Although those thoughts are not continuous, they come close.
  73. The ability to control your own actions is a valuable one.
  74. "As soon as the foolishness stops, the criticism stops," he said.
  75. When the foolishness subsided, he did cease to criticize.
  76. He was once a debtor but now owes nothing.
  77. They all figured the attitude was hereditary.
  78. The hideous dictionary attacked me and tried to steal my knowledge!
  79. That one hindrance may someday be gone, and then I'll be happy.
  80. The decision is unmakable, so I'll do something else.
  81. No matter how much you deny, I'll know it's all a lie.
  82. The description of the house was not something of which to be proud.
  83. You shouldn't despise anyone unless they despise you first.
  84. If you do not discipline them, they'll end up in jail.
  85. Although he was illiterate, he knew what the big red octagon was.
  86. The doctors said that personal hygiene plays a large role in overall health.
  87. Negative thoughts always seem to be the dominant force.
  88. I cannot duplicate favorable past situations at all.
  89. It was indivisible until I got this new knife.
  90. Since there was no emergency, the people did not care.
  91. The employee bought a doughnut and sold it.
  92. It evidently would not work without some sort of prize.
  93. He was going exceedingly fast and eating a taco.
  94. An excellent way to get good grades is to sleep through discussions and read the material yourself.
  95. Excessive absence can cause you to fail automatically.
  96. Its existence has no effect on what happens.
  97. If your car is towed, it will be at your expense.
  98. The fatal blow was delivered by the crab.
  99. I find myself always the inverse of happiness.
  100. The effective use of irony confused the entire class.
  101. The calculator said it was irreducible, and it was right.
  102. The fictitious character went to the fictitious store and bought a fictitious loaf of bread.
  103. When Santa came down the chimney, he was jovial.
  104. Since they were no where near the end, they began to hasten.
  105. They were all armed heavily, but they died anyway.
  106. It was no hindrance because it made no difference.
  107. As I waited hungrily, I played a game of chess.
  108. Although they were malicious, I still let them borrow things.
  109. We all knew it was hypocrisy when the mouse tried to be an elephant.
  110. His answer to the question exposed his ignorance.
  111. The imagination of a child can fly a plane.
  112. The immense statue fell on its creator when completed.
  113. If you want us to come to your house, you must indicate why.
  114. Since you misconstrue my words, I will remain silent.
  115. The news alone was enough to nauseate me.
  116. I tried to negotitate, but they're so stubborn.
  117. He was nimble enough to jump over the candle but not the flame. (Jack)
  118. They are all morbid, and it sickens me now.
  119. Somehow, through all the confusion, her innocence came about.
  120. My inquiry has been left with no response.
  121. With no insurance, you will have to pay a lot.
  122. I hope this phonecall does not interfere with your day or your life.
  123. My interpretation was the most negative of the group.
  124. You will see the judgment, and you might not like it.
  125. Sometimes, an obsession is a very nice thing to have.
  126. The new door for the room was opaque. (the room)
  127. It is impossible to be optimistic all the time.
  128. By trying to lengthen his life, he killed himself.
  129. The lieutenant told his solder to get him a cheeseburger.
  130. Loneliness is something with which one needs to deal.
  131. One time, a magazine was able to save someone's life.
  132. The maneuver was the thing that kept it from going over the cliff.
  133. Marriage is supposed to last forever, but many times it does not.
  134. The passive dog did not care that its owner put it outside.
  135. We went out on the patio, and yet we saw nothing.
  136. Her discomfort was perceptible, and that scares me.
  137. Being pessimistic is not good, but it's a way of life.
  138. If you ever find stolen merchandise, you should not keep it.
  139. I fear that this feeling may not be mutual.
  140. I drank the potion, and it was yummy.
  141. Neglecting my obligation would be sad and preposterous.
  142. Its potency was, by far, enough to kill the locust.
  143. I considered the problem negligible, but it proved to have an effect.
  144. Their niece was unable to find her sweater.
  145. If you ever thought, you would notice that when someone is late, he or she is noticable.
  146. My self-inflicted obligation has brought pain, but it is pleasant pain.
  147. Occasionally is a disappointing concept but is reality.
  148. If you try to omit that emotion, you may arise in the end with more problems.
  149. If the operations are a success, the worries of the present will be long forgotten.
  150. With an opportunity like this, it is essential to think before you do anything foolish.
  151. To oppose her would be to oppose me.
  152. Optimism brings sorrow when things don't go right, but pessimism brings delight when plans succeed.
  153. If anyone within the organization would do wrong, they would be punished.
  154. Originally, the plan was very different, indeed.
  155. After all this waiting, he finally paid on his debt. (Gary)
  156. My comment about croutons was not relevant to the sermon. (One time, I told my grandma that I didn't like croutons during church, and she thought it was hilarious)
  157. You could break something on those parallel bars.
  158. A peasant stole my last taco the day before yesterday.
  159. I thought it was peculiar to find sheep intestines on the street.
  160. If there were a personal thing I could know, I might think or feel differently.
  161. To retract is to die and to give up is foolish.
  162. If I could only retrieve that which I wish to have.
  163. They all signed the petition, and then they died.
  164. The philosopher spent his evening pondering the meaning of intelligence.
  165. These are polices that we cannot hold true to at all times.
  166. The politician commented on things of which he knew nothing.
  167. If you possess the ability, you will make five dollars.
  168. Although the possibility is small, it is existent.
  169. They were all skeptical, but I believed it.
  170. These days are the perfect picture of somber.
  171. If you choose to precede him, you will need to practice.
  172. Their prejudice kept them from making millions of dollars.
  173. The primitive television didn't have a remote control.
  174. The privilege was abused but still was not taken away.
  175. I find it more difficult these days to tolerate the passing of time.
  176. The procedure took forty days and a couple of lives to complete. (Noah's Ark)
  177. If I am to proceed, I must decide what to do next.
  178. The professor made burritos and ate them in front of everyone.
  179. The great quantities were too much for the withering maple tree.
  180. Readily, I made my way through the crowd.
  181. The analogy was so complex that the creator had trouble finding the likeness.
  182. After his acquittal, he went to the store and bought a loaf of bread.
  183. His affiliate stole thousands of dollars from him.
  184. The affidavit stated he would pay, but he did not.
  185. The absorption of the paper towel failed to satisfy the foreigner.
  186. The abundant amount of woe in some situations is unbelieveable.
  187. We were accustomed to the old way, but now it is no more.
  188. I know what would be a great achievement, but it wouldn't be easy.
  189. The apprehensive young lady stayed at home on Friday 13.
  190. His aptitude for music could have made him rich, but he wanted to design clothes.
  191. The arbiter said it was my fault, and I said, "No, it's not."
  192. I was able to appease her by doing everything she told me to do.
  193. We had to annihilate the records so no one would know.
  194. An acquaintance of mine was very easily changed.
  195. In actuality, nothing had really mattered, and everything was okay.
  196. An adolescent once came up to me and asked for money.
  197. The aggressive nature was seen as extremely useless.
  198. The atrocious acts must be avoided if at all possible.
  199. There is an axiom that I will always remember.
  200. Those who begile will be begiled in return.
  201. The annual statement said to throw away the old bread.
  202. The apparatus I found was not very useful to me.
  203. The figurative appearance of depression is often and strange.
  204. The buffet did not consist of gopher meat.
  205. The canine was kicked for barking too much. (King)
  206. Her breach was punished with a trip to the chair. (Faces of Death 4)
  207. Her charisma led me to shun corn for the rest of my life.
  208. The clich� "What, you fell in a hole?" was not funny. (Carl, Nate)
  209. My clemency can lead to many bad things. (my loans)
  210. The commencement caused the earth to be destroyed.
  211. They must conserve the blueprints if they wish to finish the project.
  212. The detriment caused by the small animal was minimal.
  213. An impediment was able to hinder his progress, but hopefully he will prevail.
  214. The shot was indolent, but the apprehensive child was scared to death.



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