8 Reasons Not to Mess With a Child



Site News
Christian Links
Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child
Opinion Articles
Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories
Funny Pictures
Funny Chat Logs
Poems
Fiction Stories
Music
Spreadsheets
Last Days of Socrates
The Powerpuff Girls
Comics
Variety Site Forum
Other Fun Links
My Email: [email protected]


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy, the oldest of a family, answered, "Thou shalt not kill."
One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."



8 Reasons 1500s Facts(?) The Ant and Grasshopper
Bananas Conductor Bible Jokes Brain Teasers
Church Bulletins Clever Dog Colored
Correct Email Cowboy Cows
Dangerous Stuttering Dave Berry Quotes Dear Tide
Definitions Deputy Wife Designated Decoy
Divorced Barbie Dog Fight? Don't Shout
Engineer and Manager Excuse Notes Expert Salesman
Farmer Brown Fishing Fool Quotes
Fun Facts(?) Funny Quotes Gambling Quiz
God Destroys Earth GM vs. Microsoft Great Truths
Grey Parents The Hardship of Accounting How Business is Done
Hypocrites I Hate Life! Indian Ingenuity
Kids in Church Lightbulbs Limericks
Lincoln's Donkey Lying Politicians Minister Cometh
Modern Noah Mother Odd News
Of Studies and Taco Bell Personality Quiz Plant the Wheat
Product Warning Labels Proverbs Puns
Plants Real Sherlock Rednecks
Riddles Question Game Safe Driver Award
Say What? Shrimp Shells Soap Opera
Speeding Excuse Valuable Art Virus Joke
Water or Coke? Water Walk Where Pets Come From
Which Tire? Why Computers Crash Worst Things




All Variety Reading Pages

Site News Christian Links Christian Stories
Sponsor a Child Opinion Articles Inspirational Stories
Funny Stories Funny Pictures Funny Chat Logs
Poems Fiction Stories Music
Spreadsheets Last Days of Socrates The Powerpuff Girls
Comics Variety Site Forum Other Fun Links

My Email: [email protected]