Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) ***************************** The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes. Charles Swindoll ***************************** Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Half the people you know are below average. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Steve Wright ***************************** In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. ***************************** Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? ***************************** Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. ***************************** All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. ***************************** The willow knows what the storm does not: that the power to endure harm outlives the power to inflict it. - Blood of the Martyr ***************************** Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out. - John Wooden ***************************** Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. - Dale Carnegie ***************************** Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? ***************************** Anything that we have to learn we learn by the actualy doing of it...we become just by performing just acts, temperate by performing temperate ones, brave by performing brave ones. - Aristotle, Ethics ***************************** If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?" ***************************** You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) ***************************** You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration. ***************************** Imagination is more important than knowledge. Albert Einstein (1879-1955) ***************************** Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) ***************************** A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ***************************** "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." Ann Landers ***************************** Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don't like to do. Albert Gray ***************************** How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? ***************************** Character is often determined not by when we do what we must, but by when we do what is voluntary. It is tested far more by charity, than obligation. It appears not so much in what the public sees, but shows itself clearer in what is done in private. ***************************** "Life is like a grindstone - whether it grinds you down or polishes you up depends on what you're made of." ***************************** Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. ***************************** Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely. ***************************** Great changes may not happen right away, but with effort even the difficult may become easy. Bill Blackman ***************************** If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man Mark Twain ***************************** To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Elbert Hubbard ***************************** Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount. Clare Booth Luce (1903-1987) ***************************** How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? ***************************** Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours and cry? ***************************** Some actual product warning labels: On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. (duh!) On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Makes sense...except these instructions we're IN THE BOX!) In some countries (like W. Virginia:), on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. ( Now THAT I'd like to see! ) On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on BOTTOM of the box) * DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (oops...Too late! You lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to what...use in outer space?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm sure glad they cleared that up.) On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right parents. Don't teach your children to jump off the roof!) ***************************** Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. ***************************** Words are powerful things. They can make someone feel ten feet tall, or two inches small. Choose your words wisely and well. ***************************** Latin Phrase Quod Sum Eris "I am what you will be," a motto for a gravestone ***************************** Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Albert Einstein ***************************** Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) ***************************** You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) ***************************** Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain (1835-1910) ***************************** God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. ***************************** Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations. Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825) ***************************** Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. ***************************** There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Douglas Everett ***************************** As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality . Albert Einstein ***************************** I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. If all is not lost, where is it? It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. (or on the telephone). When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. ***************************** Growing Older... Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old. ***************************** Dum spiro, spero "While I breathe, I hope" ***************************** Once you get people laughing, they're listening, and you can tell them almost anything. Herbert Gardner ***************************** You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. Ethel Barrymore ***************************** You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. ***************************** FATHER QUOTES "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." ~Author Unknown~ "To her the name of father was another name for love." ~By Fanny Fern~ "Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers, and fathering is a very important stage in their development." ~By David M. Gottesman~ "It is a wise father that knows his own child." ~By William Shakespeare (1564-1616)~ "It doesn't matter who my father was. It matters who I remember he was." ~By Anne Sexton (1928-1974) U.S. poet~ "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." ~By Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)~ "A Man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season." ~Author Unknown~ "The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad!" ~Author Unknown~ "A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be." ~Author Unknown~ ***************************** It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. Rod Serling ***************************** Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music. Angela Monet ***************************** Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. ***************************** It takes as much stress to be a success as it does to be a failure. Emilio James Trujillo ***************************** "Come to the edge." "We can't. We're afraid." "Come to the edge." "We can't. We will fall!" "Come to the edge." And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew. Guillaume Apollinaire ***************************** People count the faults of those who are keeping them waiting. French Proverb ***************************** One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) ***************************** Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. Abigail Van Buren (1918-1978) ***************************** America believes in education. The average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. Evan Esar (1899-1995) ***************************** Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. In the slums, we are the light of God's kindness to the poor. To children, to the poor, to all who suffer and are lonely, give always a happy smile. Give them not only your care but also your heart. Mother Teresa of Calcutta ***************************** Good luck is a result of good work. Luck never strikes when you're oversleeping. It's a fruit of your labor. ***************************** I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. Stephen Leacock ***************************** Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade? Benjamin Franklin ***************************** Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Benjamin Franklin ***************************** Don't marry the person you want to live with. Marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. ***************************** Even God doesn't plan to judge a man until the end of his days, why should you and I? ***************************** Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me. ***************************** Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more, friendship or money. ***************************** People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have. Anne Tyler (1941- ***************************** Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes. Henry J. Kaiser (1882-1967) ***************************** Never explain. Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) ***************************** You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Dale Carnegie ***************************** A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupery