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During times of stress or tension, you may withdraw inside yourself and appear as somewhat cool and aloof. You need to be alone when thinking through projects, problems or solutions. Because of your thoughtful nature, you need others to express sincere interest in you or the relationship. This offers the secure feeling that you seek. You may be a matter-of-fact person who may be critical of the shortcomings of others who display a more emotional or outgoing side. Others may see you as disciplined and self-controlled. You have seen the problems of being overly optimistic when planning to depend on others following through. You prefer time to think and analyze outcomes before acting. The result will be a decisive action that is carefully analyzed. You usually assume a cautious and reserved demeanor when meeting new people. Your relationships must grow naturally and in sincere ways. You will not confide in others readily because of your need for security.
Others showing genuine sincerity and acceptance impress you. You do not like a shallow expression of feelings or thoughtlessness of others. You will get along with most people you meet because you don't cause hostility.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. We use a combination of body language, facial expression, verbal tone and word choice to share ourselves with others. The following statements offer a look at the natural behavior you bring to an interpersonal relationship. Some people may inaccurately perceive you as not liking people. You may be misread by others, because you approach social situations with logic and objectivity, judging others by their competence--you may sometimes be misread by others. Because of your need to be quiet rather than rambling, you are somewhat introspective about events and activities. You may not communicate readily and rapidly with others, but this does not mean you don't support others. You attempt to influence others not by showing great emotion, but by appealing to the logical nature of people. Those who are more emotional and excitable may sometimes ignore your approach. You may want to base relationships on a nonemotional respect for each other's abilities, and base your level of trust on directness and straightforwardness. You are usually astute in social situations because you take little at face value, will listen carefully and accurately, and will watch others carefully. If placed in the center of attention at events or parties, you may feel somewhat self-conscious. This may be reduced by acknowledging your contribution or presence, then moving on with other activities. You tend to listen rather than talk. You may place a premium on display of emotions. As a result, "reading" you at times may be difficult. You may be somewhat reticent and retiring when with others, especially in a large group. As others grow louder, you may become quieter. You value control of emotions, and are more reflective than rowdy.
You will most likely not approach new people and introduce yourself, so you need ice breakers or others to do the formal introductions to feel more comfortable and less reticent.
Many different factors determine the communication styles with which you are most comfortable. Some individuals thrive on the challenge of pointed criticism, while others are at their best in a nurturing environment where criticism is offered as a suggestion for improvement. Each of us has a unique set of requirements and preferences. Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness. Find areas of common interest and involvement. Provide time to analyze the data before making a decision. Work to achieve mutual satisfaction. Use a tone of voice that shows sincerity. Listen sincerely. Have facts and ideas in a logical order. Provide personal support and assurance. Present ideas softly, nonthreateningly. Be responsive toward ideas and commitments. Show sincere interest as a person. Use a logical and unemotional approach.
Start with a personal comment to "break the ice."
This section identifies specific talents and behavior that you bring to a personal relationship. In order to cultivate a successful relationship it is vital to be familiar with your interpersonal strengths and weaknesses. Can "troubleshoot" various potential problems. Sincere in what you say and do. Dependable partner. Good at reconciling. An excellent listener to the concerns and ideas of others. Loyal team player. The ability to sense and "weed out" people with shallow plans or ideas. Very patient with others. Ability to weigh various information and make an objective decision.
Supportive of others.
In general, human beings are defined by their needs and individuals by their wants. Your emotional wants are especially important when establishing with whom you are compatible. While answering the Relationship Questionnaire you established a pattern of basic, subconscious wants. This section of the report was produced by analyzing those patterns. Our wants change as we mature and obtain our life goals. You may find it valuable to revisit this section periodically to see how your wants have changed. You may want: Straight talk and straight dealing. Others to adhere to your high standards. Things done "right" the first time. Fewer changes, if many changes have occurred recently. Recognition for your concern for quality relationships. Respect among peers and friends for your quiet manner. Detailed information about major decisions with complete instructions. Facts and data before making decisions relating to others. Reassurance. Others to present their ideas and information in a logical order. |
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