Balancing the Pride Scales

            Pride is, as many things, okay to have in moderation.  Being too proud will lead to overconfidence to the point of utter failure.  Having no pride at all will inspire discouragement and result in a feeling of helplessness that causes one to give up on tasks that are well within one's ability to complete.  Though both of these things seem obvious when expressed as they are in the previous statements, I reluctantly admit that I have experienced both of these pride “imbalances” in different aspects of my life.

            One thing in which I think I take too much pride, at times, is my academic performance.  In the past, I have managed to get grades on exams that are unbelievable, even to myself, for the amount of studying I have done.  I need to realize on such occasions that though I may be due some credit, luck does have a hand in them.  The exam may have just happened to ask the questions to which I knew the answers, even though there were many possible questions that would have stumped me.

            I’ve always done well in mathematics, but a few times, I’ve had to step back and take a second look at how much pride I have in my ability.  Upon receiving the score for my second exam in MATH170, I was rather disturbed.  My score was 79%.  I had planned to use my math courses to balance out the grades I might get in my English and writing courses, so that score was not acceptable.  It gets worse still.  In Statistics and Calculus, I received failing grades on homework assignments.  Every time I got these bad grades, I felt the same.  I started to think that maybe I really couldn’t do these things.  After giving an honest effort, however, I did better.  My pride and overconfidence had caused me to fail. 

            The thing in which I haven’t enough pride is my worth as a person with whom people like to associate.  I forgo opportunities to socialize because I don’t think anyone will want to talk to me.  Because of this trait of mine, I have very few friends and have never had a girlfriend.  Perhaps spending the majority of my time alone isn’t bad; it is what I’m used to, but I’d be willing to wager that by living a life of partial seclusion, I miss out on interesting and amusing life experiences that could be beneficial.

            I have illustrated how the extremes of pride can be harmful.  In my case, too much pride in academic ability can lead to failing grades, and not enough pride in oneself as a social individual can lead to a lonelier life.  A moderate amount of pride leads to a clear view of the agendas of life, allowing one to make good decisions regarding these.

Written:  May 19, 2001