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Once there was a chicken named Elm. He lived in a giant fire hydrant. For the moment he did,
that is, because the people in this town did not like Elm. The people would be so annoying to
Elm because they would blow up his home every time they found it. One day...
Elm: Wait!
Me: What is it, Elm?
Elm: I quit!
Me: Elm, you can't quit. I haven't even started the story yet.
Elm: I don't care. It's a dumb story.
Me: Elm, that doesn't matter because if you quit, you don't get paid. (whisper to reader) Not like I really pay him...
Elm: I'll live on social security.
Me: Oh shut up, Elm, this is your first job.
Elm: How do you know?
Me: Because, I made you up, dork!
Elm: Oh yeah...I forgot. Well, I'll live on my wife's social security.
Me: You don't have a wife. Chickens don't get married!
Elm: What makes you so sure I'm a chicken?
Me: Because that's what you are.
Elm: Rooster.
Me: Oh...sorry...same difference.
Elm: Well, I'm quitting.
Me: No, you're not.
Elm: Why?
Me: Because I made you up, and I control you.
Elm: So? I'll quit anyway.
Me: Wait, come back! That's it. There! I'm shipping you to the President.
When Elm gets to the President he drives him crazy, or was it the other way around? Well..they
drove each other crazy....but...yet they both already were, well, whatever...
Written in 1993
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