A Confession


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This poem was written in 1996 for a specific occasion, but it seems to have application on a more general level as well.

Reciprocal of my mind
to frighten away my sickly thoughts
that I avoid throughout the days of these weeks,
spent in useless and aimless causes and directions,
until it all stops or goes away...

Fractured candle
Brings it all back
From underneath
The endless stack.

Holes in values
Cannot repair
The vest of sorrow
I always wear

It's all a fake.
It's all unreal.
They don't know
How I really feel.

Happiness
I cannot find.
Total sorrow
Rules my mind.

The confession
I already guessed
And here I thought
I tried my best.

I still believe
That if I try,
I'll reach my goal
Before I die.

I don't know how,
At least not yet.
A clear thought
I cannot get.

Someday it will
Be very clear,
And my goal
Then I will near.

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